Mental stuff

Another week, another mental assessment. Waiting to hear what’s next now – change in meds, change in who I see, no change? Had a manic week that’s added huge strain to our home life – crisis time. Something needs to change if my marriage is to last. I think when she said “its like I’ve lost my best friend” that I realized how bad things are. Seriously considering my ability to keep working in the stressful place I currently do. Whilst HR have been great my manager thinks it’s all about me managing my time better. Good grief. Currently sat in the Dr’s waiting room for another discussion of everything… I hold no hope that this will make any difference at all.

2 Comments

Filed under life

Remembering to take the meds

As I’m currently on 150mg of Quetiapine it means cutting a tablet in 2 every other night (I can only get them in 100gsm). It would seem I forgot to take the whole tab after the half, as it was discovered under the bed this morning. My immediate reaction wad I definitely took the whole dose last night, and was very defensive ( no one like to be seen ad deliberately skipping meds if they haven’t, right?). So I took the 100mg before work and have paid for it by walking around like I’m half cut. Unfortunately this has come right in the midst of a bout of rapid ups n downs. Today Haas ben a mix of euphoria, irritability and despair. I’ve already apologized to some, will have mote apologies to make the afternoon. Whatever, I’ll be more careful with my nighttime meds in futures…

2 Comments

Filed under life

Bipolar at work

Whilst the HR department at work have been awesome, my last catch up with my manager left me feeling a bit… confused. Her question “has your bp affected the way you treat people at work?” was not one I had anticipated. I’ve never had any problems with anyone at work – in fact work has probably benefited significantly from my hypomanic days of overachievement. But that question coupled with concerns about productivity, time management and concentration has left me feeling somewhat exposed. It could be my anxiety coupled with depression, or it could be something’s afoot – either way, it’s left me wondering if soldiering on regardless with a cheerful facade and an “everything’s ok really” attitude at work may not have been the best approach…

2 Comments

Filed under life

Med review

Two weeks of suicidal depression means I’m off the Sertraline and increasing the Quetiapine. Probs back to the CMHS Team next week. Things can only get better.

2 Comments

Filed under life

Quetiapine

100mg a day and a monthly GP appointment to see how that goes, plus book onto a CBT course. Trouble is, how do I know if the Q is doing the trick or not? Yes I’m sleeping more, but other than that can’t say I’ve noticed a huge change. Mood’s still fluctuating.
Though not so rapidly, but I don’t feel it’s changed anything. Us this to be expected, should there be more, who knows? If anything I’m more tired, more angry and lots more surges of rage (which I’m suppressing, my dad used to have huge bursts of rage so I try to keep a lid on that) but is that me or the meds? Guess time will tell?

Leave a comment

Filed under Bipolar, life, Medication, mental state

Back to reality

Just back from a week away in sunny H____ – 5 days of rain, a heavy cold and no WiFi. First time properly chilled out in about a year. We’d appt Tuesday first thing to agree treatment, dosage etc. HR at work are up to speed already, but have a decision to make re informing my manager of BP2 diagnosis. One to ponder…

1 Comment

Filed under Bipolar, life, work

Onto meds…

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quetiapine

 

And so in the end it’s into the system, take the meds and maybe things will improve. Fingers crossed…

4 Comments

Filed under life