3 fillings, £45 and a load of jaw ache – literally. Not to mention the growing credit card expense. Day off tomorrow – looks like rain, smoothly done there – and behind on all my work. And yet still I’m bouncy and happy and full of beans. Must be the 5am coffee table marathon, or maybe the painkillers. Or perhaps it’s summertime, the birds are singing (obviously can’t hear them over the traffic, but we know they’re there) and the sun is almost shining, or maybe is above the accumulation of overhead cumulus.
I can’t help but feel the monetary dip is a mere blip which will soon be dealt with. more freelance possibilities – not huge ££ but should be enough to cover the unexpected rise in credit use. And I have a great idea for a new website which should be an income stream. more importantly it should be a great creative outlet too. I started planning it last year before mood went south and I lost interest, so it will be great to push it forward.
As a really great post end, check out this link – http://lab.andre-michelle.com/tonematrix - it’s great. Of course, accessing it at work led to writing musical rude messages, and videoing them to friends – juvenile yes, but also great fun – enjoy!
Filed under: life, mental state, work , dentist, money, mood, music, summertime, work
Another week gone in a blur; it’s amazing how perception of reality can change with mood. I’m feeling less depressed at the moment but also less connected – like floating along in a dream, which brings problems of it’s own. I’ve been floating through the last few days in a William Gibson dreamland. Perhaps re-reading Idoru when my moods have been all over wasn’t good. But it’s felt like very much like reality is a thin film across a deep sea of something else.
It’s also having an affect on relationships – not just personal but professional too. Paranoid city. It doesn’t help that every few days another site is blocked on work’s internet, so I’m reduced to finding time for this blog in the odd 10 minutes I have somewhere else with web access. I don’t have time at home at the moment. Also at work there’s been a change in the company structure – our dept is now represented as a spur off the main dept. P45 anyone? Something’s definitely going on, but maybe I’m making more out of it than I need – how do you get perspective on something like that?
So…pretty strange at the moment, although not too bad considering the last few weeks. I’ve shelved the suicidal leanings seemingly for the moment, so maybe everything’s on the up at last.
Filed under: depression, health, life, mental state, relationships, therapy, work , dep, floating, Idoru, mood, para, William Gibson, work
