November 30, 2009 • 4:34 pm
Difficult few months, things up and down and have had a bit of a block on everything hence no posts. Work is reaching a stressful climax I think, and has been a bad influence on my MH – is being – and I haven’t been able to separate the internal/external factors in everything going Pete Tong. But we have been working through it all in therapy and starting to see the wood from the trees a bit. I need a break and can’t wait now to have a week away over Xmas. If I make it that far without losing the plot that will be an achievement.
I just wish it wasn’t so dark all the time 
Filed under: depression, life, mental state, therapy, work , work, therapy, stress, mental health
September 28, 2009 • 5:34 pm
Tired, pained, stressed, overworked, underwhelmed,
Drowsy, dragging, day-stretching tedium of monotonous grey-scale day-to-day drudgery, Hell-bent, pay-the-rent, hourly grind,
Email, mental de-rail, beyond the pail, weep-and-wail,
Play nice, hold your tongue, smile sweetly, dress neatly,
Kiss the shilling, ready and willing, pay the price,
Skrimp and save, waste yours years, bitter tears, early grave.
Gotta love the rat race!
Filed under: life, mental state, work , overwork, stress, tiredness
September 3, 2009 • 6:16 pm
It’s been a crap day today – i shouldn’t be surprised, unless I can get the hell out of this job Mon-Fri is guaranteed crap. It’s mainly pressure of deadlines and the amount of work (as per usual) but also the middle management’s attitude of superiority coupled with their immense ability to do nothing or do something badly. Then tell you how to do your job, after meetings with the bosses about workflow, priorities etc. Funnily enough it’s been a while since I required someone looking over my shoulder to get anything done. Perhaps when i was 9 years old, but that was a while ago now!
It i partly my fault though – my inability to say No means I get overloaded and then stressed. But I do tend to get the work done. And generally if I’m not overloaded i get very bored and that’s just about as bad. i need to find a happy middle ground of manageable workload. No, i need to get off my arse and rewrite my CV and update my portfolio and get another job. Or something. probably trying to freelance and work full time and be a half decent parent/partner is overdoing it to. Especially when I have what could be called a haphazard approach to most things – it’s probably a bad mix. But I find it difficult to turn stuff down. However, the fact that most of my freelance clients are now in a position of waiting for work that should be complete is not good. Could do with having a few extra hours added to the days for a few weeks!
However, there is some good stuff. I’ve had a book concept accepted to work on with an agency. It’s a bit of an unusual book in that it involves a lot of user interaction in various ways via websites etc. ridiculously, it’s come at a time when I’m snowed under and finding ti difficult t dedicate time, but it’s sill pretty exciting. The only sticking point could be budget and timescale – if we can work those out should be an exciting project.
In fact i should be pretty happy really – busy, interesting stuff, still got a job, family etc. I shouldn’t be feeling low and grey – there’s no logic to anything is there? Wishy washy times in tones of grey – bit like the weather. Probably just in nee of a bit of sleep – or a holiday! Maybe some sun. or even a good novel.
Filed under: depression, life, mental state, work , bad day, overwork, stress, tiredness
