September 28, 2009 • 5:34 pm
Tired, pained, stressed, overworked, underwhelmed,
Drowsy, dragging, day-stretching tedium of monotonous grey-scale day-to-day drudgery, Hell-bent, pay-the-rent, hourly grind,
Email, mental de-rail, beyond the pail, weep-and-wail,
Play nice, hold your tongue, smile sweetly, dress neatly,
Kiss the shilling, ready and willing, pay the price,
Skrimp and save, waste yours years, bitter tears, early grave.
Gotta love the rat race!
Filed under: life, mental state, work , overwork, stress, tiredness
September 3, 2009 • 6:16 pm
It’s been a crap day today – i shouldn’t be surprised, unless I can get the hell out of this job Mon-Fri is guaranteed crap. It’s mainly pressure of deadlines and the amount of work (as per usual) but also the middle management’s attitude of superiority coupled with their immense ability to do nothing or do something badly. Then tell you how to do your job, after meetings with the bosses about workflow, priorities etc. Funnily enough it’s been a while since I required someone looking over my shoulder to get anything done. Perhaps when i was 9 years old, but that was a while ago now!
It i partly my fault though – my inability to say No means I get overloaded and then stressed. But I do tend to get the work done. And generally if I’m not overloaded i get very bored and that’s just about as bad. i need to find a happy middle ground of manageable workload. No, i need to get off my arse and rewrite my CV and update my portfolio and get another job. Or something. probably trying to freelance and work full time and be a half decent parent/partner is overdoing it to. Especially when I have what could be called a haphazard approach to most things – it’s probably a bad mix. But I find it difficult to turn stuff down. However, the fact that most of my freelance clients are now in a position of waiting for work that should be complete is not good. Could do with having a few extra hours added to the days for a few weeks!
However, there is some good stuff. I’ve had a book concept accepted to work on with an agency. It’s a bit of an unusual book in that it involves a lot of user interaction in various ways via websites etc. ridiculously, it’s come at a time when I’m snowed under and finding ti difficult t dedicate time, but it’s sill pretty exciting. The only sticking point could be budget and timescale – if we can work those out should be an exciting project.
In fact i should be pretty happy really – busy, interesting stuff, still got a job, family etc. I shouldn’t be feeling low and grey – there’s no logic to anything is there? Wishy washy times in tones of grey – bit like the weather. Probably just in nee of a bit of sleep – or a holiday! Maybe some sun. or even a good novel.
Filed under: depression, life, mental state, work , bad day, overwork, stress, tiredness
Very very…yawn…tired at the moment. I can’t work out how being really tired and not being able to sleep can go together. Unfortunately I always resort to eating crap when this happens, so bang goes my healthy eating. On the positive side I still seem to be able to find the energy when it comes to proper creative stuff – shame about the less creative jobs. I struggle to stay awake for those!
Luckily for me freelance stuff is going well – 2 happy clients, based on their feedback this week – for whom I’m half way through design jobs at the moment. Unfortunately having major problems with setting up an SSL certificate for someone else – should have been sorted in a matter of hours but the emails have gone down for the last 24 hours.
Weirdly someone has just walked past (I’m sitting outside a local bar at the moment) wearing the same perfume my therapist wears. Which is a weird sentence in itself but that particular perfume (I don’t know what it is, but it’s fairly strong) just puts me right into THAT room – which is slightly disconcerting to say the least, especially when you’re trying to relax, and especially just before a session too. Ah – the woman in question (not my therapist thank god) is sat on the table next to me – so it’s like having an additional half hour tacked onto tonight’s session without any gain and while I’m trying to relax. On the other side is some utter knob spouting loudly about how great global warming is to give us this weather and what a big 4×4 he drives. The temptation to pretend to discuss making up for a tiny penis with a big car on my mobile is almost unbearable.
I could quite happily spend the rest of the evening here (obviously without current table neighbours) rather than dragging my sorry hide along the road to THE ROOM. But, it’s time to meander along there.
BTW – if you’re looking for a decent read, The Somnambulist is well worth a go, although the follow up (I read them in the wrong order without realising they were related) is likely to make you feel that you’re living in a nightmare, particularly if you’re feeling a bit delicate anyway!
Filed under: life, mental state, therapy, work , perfume, The Somnambulist, therapist, tiredness, work
