Massive downer

Today everything has changed but I don’t know why, it’s gone from everything is going great and feeling very up to almost the opposite and I’ve lost all inclination to doanything. Everything seems suddenly pointledss. Even the music I feel like listening to has suddenly changed from Adam Ant to Nirvana. the last time I felt like this and it changed this suddenly I went into a big depression so am rally feeling anxious now. On top of that I have a freelance job – the biggest one I’v e ever had – on the cusp of finishing so I really can’t afford to be depressed right now. I know that sounds stupid but it’s true. I feel so crappy it’s not rtue.

And therapy in an hour which might sound like good timing but doesn’t feel like it. Wish i could disappear somewhere and not see anyone. Forever.

EDIT: Sitting in the vpub where alcohol has at least dulled the worst of it so I can sit calmly rather than being on the verge of screaming. Maybe this will be temporary.


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Filed under depression, life, mental state, therapy

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