Still not sleeping and now got to the stage where I feel constantly sick from tiredness, constantly on edge and restless. I almost fell dwn the stairs at work because I was so tired I lost my balance.
Tired, sad and a feeling of impending doom, that everything is going to fall to pieces and there’s not a thing I can do about it. I spoke to my Dad on the phone last night – first time in months – and it was like speaking to a stranger that someone has suggested you’ll get on really well with. Awkward and uncomfortable and very sad. It was summed up when saying good bye – he said “alright, bye mate” before remembering that we were related and that he knew my name.
I have 1.5 weeks until new job and am going to struggle if I’m still this tired when I start. Going to have to find a way to sleep ASAP. Can’t start like this.